-i should have known-

November 12, 2012


all the years of joy and laughter-

were nothing but a farce-

using me as a place-filler

for that hole inside your hearts-

i suppose it’s alright…

there was a hole inside mine, too-

we were an awkwardly fit family;

the baby, then college…

then your move and mine-

we vowed we didn’t

need that document to

declare our familial-ship-

because we were-

i didn’t see how you were

brainwashing me,

using and twisting

and molding me in

your deceptive images-

how you stood by my side

as long as i did things your way,

had the boyfriend you wanted…

and how you walked away the moment

you assumed i was a lost cause,

never trying to fight for me,

never trying to see my side,

telling me you had

“children to protect”…

i suppose i didn’t make the list

that year,

you didn’t even know who i was

when we spoke by phone…

i suppose that wanting it

as badly as i did,

just wasn’t enough-

i should have seen through

that facade long ago-

everybody else did.

why didn’t i?

i should have-

i should have known.

and i should have walked away.



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