technicalities go over my head

March 23, 2013

i have always tried to take editorial notes seriously… i want to become a better writer, it’s true.

and maybe part of it is because i have been writing this way for so long, or because i’ve talked myself into thinking i’m a better writer than i am… i don’t know. what i do know is that when people start talking technicalities and things like adverb usage and postmodern this or that, my head starts swimming.

maybe part of it’s the defensiveness i’ve gained throughout my life because of certain hardships and tragedies.

it feels like these things are out of my realm of understanding, even though i do feel like i have a certain gift when it comes to writing. even if it’s only in my mind, it’s the only thing i have ever been good at and could stick with. it’s the earliest hobby i can remember ever having.

obviously nobody can tell me to give it up, because i won’t. but it does get frustrating when i’ve been writing along my own rules this whole time, only to learn that i’m not following the “right set”. does this make our writing worse? or just less comprehensive? i feel like i can understand my writing, but i am the one writing it. if i’ve confused myself, obviously there’s a problem.

that was always one of the things i loved about writing, was that there were no confines, other than the edges of our imaginations.

i suppose the market is really big for people who follow “the rules”, and very few agents or publishers feel comfortable stepping out of that. What i also am having a hard time understanding, is why it seems i need to hire my own editor before i even send it to the publisher? is it just me, or isn’t that what the publishing company does? aren’t they supposed to have editors on staff?

yes, there are some great (free) resources outside of that (WANATribe for one), but i have to start using money that i don’t even have yet to make my already somewhat appealing stories even MORE appealing? that seems like total prepackaging to me. and a little bit of a waste. my boyfriend and i live on about $1200/mo, some of which comes from my SSI/Disability check. where am i supposed to get the money for that? Where exactly do i sacrifice?

i know for a fact that there are thousands of agents and publishers out there… i’ve found them online, i see them in the “free” version of publisher’s marketplace (although i just looked it up and that book is only about $16… might be worth it). And every single one of them has rejected my writing, without saying why.

just some humdrum bs excuse of how it’s not right for them and to not give up.

really? how bout you tell me what’s so awful about my writing that you can’t stand it? is it the technicalities that go straight over my lovely little locks? my story arc? are my characters too boring?

i understand they don’t have time to get into specifics with everybody, but what about each person who shows potential? i know i have that, in the very least. i have raw potential oozing out my ears!

at any rate, we always strive to be our best; to improve in little ways. Maybe it’s time we stop always listening to our heart, and sometimes listen to the professionals. every thing they teach is taken from the things they’ve learned along the way. not every tip is going to help us, because it all depends on what works for us. if there was only one way to do it, there wouldn’t be so many people trying to tell us what worked for them.

don’t get discouraged (nor will i), and keep on writing. until your fingers bleed… (well, maybe not.)




****also, don’t forget, my books are for sale on Amazon now… paperback and kindle. except The Accursed People, that’s still hardback.


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